A Piece Of Potato Passion
by psychocynic
Summary: A potato peeler with a perverted twist, Kagome. A cold and mean business man yelling on the phone, Sesshoumaru. A crazy speeding red convertible driver with a terrible sense of fashion, Inuyasha. And the one that brought them all together... the potato.
1. Beat of the Rain

A Piece Of Potato Passion 

By Psychocynic

...and her younger sister SexyBod

Disclaimer: Inuyasha and it's characters do not belong to me, nor does Mr. Potato Head, though everything else (including Potato Palace and the original story) belongs to me.

AN: Hey there, this is my, no, me and my sister's first and very feeble attempt at writing a fanfic. It's kind of a crazy story, but, I hope it's not too bad. I heard that writing fanfics was a great way to meet new people and an enjoyable hobby, so, here is Potato Passion!

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Chapter One

Beat of the Rain

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Kagome staggered under the heavy weight of the big bags of potatoes.

Yep, potatoes.

Kagome had a summer job at Potato Palace (a giant superpotato factory that produced all sorts of goods involving, you guessed it, potatoes. Chips, fries, mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, hash browns, tater tots, chunky potato soup, potato patties, potato salad... and others never even imagined previously) and was delivering the potatoes there. These days, business was booming, and the potato fields on company property simply couldn't provide enough to keep up with demand. The company had already sent out a horde of trucks to go and grab all the potatoes they could, but even that wasn't enough. So they sent out half of the workers, in cars or on foot, to get any potatoes they could find, from supermarkets, farmer's markets, or farmers themselves.

Kagome herself, however, thought it ridiculous. Just who on earth needed so many?

Apparently, Potato Palace.

Kagome sighed and continued her trek up the road. Poor Kagome. She didn't have a car, not even a bike. Well, inexperienced high-school students got low ended jobs, and low ended jobs (such as peeling potatoes) got low pay.

The sky darkened considerably, and fat drops of rain dampened her work uniform. Rainwater started gathering in the bags of potatoes, increasing its heaviness. Kagome seriously considered dropping a few of them. It started to rain harder, and within seconds, both Kagome and the potatoes were drenched. Kagome started jogging as she looked around for shelter.

Then, suddenly, lightening flashed and thunder roared. Big, mean clouds were hiding the sun.

"YEK!" Kagome screamed as thunder clapped again. She hated thunderstorms. Frantically, she started sprinting, huffing under the bags of potatoes. The potatoes started flying out of the bags as Kagome ran. Up ahead, she spotted a telephone booth.

"Quick! Quick!" Kagome squealed as she scurried towards the telephone booth. By then, all the potatoes had flown away. Rain continued pouring down mercilessly and the winds were howling.

A potato-less Kagome reached the telephone booth and zoomed inside. Safe!

"WAAA!" Kagome shrieked as she crashed into something. Or someone. Huh? It was a man in a business suit making a phone call, looking very pissed.

The man spared her a bored half glance before continuing to yell the hell out of whoever was on the opposite end of the line, acting as if intruding Potato Palace workers were an everyday part of his life.

"It's already 6:10! You were supposed to be here 20 minutes ago to set things up! Did you forget where the restaurant is? OR DID YOU JUST FORGET?"

The person on the other end of the line mumbled something incoherent.

"The other factory Head Bosses are all here and waiting! Shit, Inuyasha, this isn't some random drinking party that wouldn't care if you decided to skip over for a do-it-yourself-makeover! THIS IS AN IMPORTANT BUSINESS MEETING, and you better get your goddamn ass over here, unshaven, or not!"

Kagome absently observed the man growling dangerously at 'Inuyasha.'

Dang, he had fangs. Lethal, pointed canines, like the sharp sucked ends of peppermint sticks.

Angry, blood-red eyes, with electric blue slit pupils. Very scary man.

Long, lustrous, moon white hair. Is he 90?

No, that couldn't be.

As Kagome got a better look at the man's face, she found that the business suit-clad man, despite his angry bellowing and feral snarling face, was quite young, and quite...

...hot.

Kagome found herself leaning forward to get a better look. The man didn't seem to notice.

Kagome shook herself, and mentally slapped her forehead. There were more serious matters at hand. After all, how exactly she was to explain to her employer that she lost 200 potatoes?

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---Kagome Dream Sequence--->

Timid Potato Palace worker Kagome cowers, like a rabbit in front of an advancing dog, under the deadly gaze of a fiery eyed, poison-dripping Head Boss, who, strangely enough, has taken the shape of the business man yelling on the phone.

"200 potatoes! How could you have lost 200 potatoes?! 200 potatoes!"

"It was only 200 potatoes!"

"It's 200 potatoes!"

"It was only 200 potatoes!"

"200 potatoes!"

"Sorry! Sorry!"

"200 potatoes!"

"They were, um, a dollar each for a bag of 20?"

"It's still 200 potatoes! (employer towers over and casts an ominous shadow over scared and stuttering potato deliverer)"

"(Kagome retreats) But-but th-there was a thunderstorm! They, I mean the potatoes, are, uh... (Kagome searched for a word) casualties of war."

"Thunderstorms are not wars!"

"...(sigh)"

---End of Kagome Dream Sequence--->

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Kagome sighed and hung her head in defeat. The thought alone was terrifying. She'd probably have to face the scary Head Boss of Potato Palace, whom all dubbed Mr. Potato Head.

The man on the phone continued to roar.

The thunderstorm outside continued to roar.

Kagome shivered. She was sopping wet and ice cold and she wanted to go home.

Oh why, oh why, oh why did it have to rain in the ides of July?

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Meanwhile...

"Alright, alright, I'm on my way, kay? So shut the- "

"JUST HURRY UP! Did it really take you that long to- "

But neither of them ever got to finish their sentences.

For lightning just struck right outside the booth.

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Time seemed to slow down like a dramatic movie.

It was the proverbial, cliche, once-in-a-lifetime flash.

The deadening roar that would continue to echo in ears days later.

The sizzling crater out on the sidewalk, and smoke blackening the glass of the booth.

A man who continued to roar on the phone.

And the Potato Palace worker who was afraid of such things, Kagome Higurashi.

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"KYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"

Everyone within a mile of the Potato Palace worker covered their ears.

A still screaming, panic-stricken, quick-reflexed Kagome had pounced upon the nearest telephone pole (like usual) in less than a millisecond.

"OOF!"

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Wait...

Unlike previous occasions, today Kagome was in a telephone booth.

And she was strangling the man who was making a phone call.

The phone clattered to the floor.

There was a faint "Oi! Sesshoumaru! I never knew you as one to scream! You were like 'KYA!-' HAHAHA! So girly sounding! HAHA! I've gotta see this! Hmm? Sesshoumaru? Yo! Hey, ya still there? Still alive? HEY!"

"Get off of me, woman."

"Huh?" Kagome blinked.

And very slowly, looked up.


	2. So Crazy

A Piece Of Potato Passion 

By Psychocynic

...and her younger sister SexyBod

Disclaimer: Inuyasha and it's characters do not belong to me, though everything else (including Potato Palace and the original story) belongs to me.

Happy Easter! Me and my sister managed to churn out this chapter (that's why it's shorter) the day after the first! -insert whoop- Hope you like it, and please review! And without further ado, we proudly present the second installment of Potato Passion; "So Crazy!"

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Chapter Two

So Crazy

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On the highway, in another section of town, where it was not raining...

"Chikusho! WHY CAN'T THIS CAR GO ANY FASTER!?"

Inuyasha was speeding and cursing at 357 miles an hour on the highway. He reallly wanted to see his brother's shrieking face. He was sure that it was him. After all, he knew that Sesshoumaru was calling from the telephone booth next to the appointed restaurant, as this (Inuyasha being late) happened quite often. If it was a scream from outside, it shouldn't have been heard from inside the telephone booth, let alone carry on to the phone itself. And Inuyasha really really really wanted to see what could make his Mr. High-and-Mighty brother scream like a woman.

Up ahead, there was a train intersection and a dreadful, mile long line of vehicles.

"SHIT!!!" Inuyasha furiously pounded his foot on the gas lever and his red convertible jerked, and flew up and over five cars.

With a crazy white-knuckled grip on his steering wheel and his white mane of hair and red polka-dotted tie whipping wildly in the car's slipstream, his designer shades blowing away along with his flashy red dinner jacket and a hoop earring, sporting insanely twitching eyebrows and wide flaring nostrils and gritted teeth and psychotic disproportional bulging yellow eyes with popping red and blue veins and a scary, fanatical, extremely outrageous murderous expression on his face (previously described), Inuyasha started madly twisting the wheel, hunched and leaning over and completely devoid of any sense or reason, causing the car to suddenly rear up, fly swiftly through the air for a few long seconds, bounce and skid dangerously on the roofs of other cars and flying over some, flipping forwards multiple times with the car driving upside down in the air for most of it, before soaring over the fast-moving train. (AN: This was meant to be a run-on sentence)

Yaseishin Inuyasha had truly gone crazy.

A beautiful blood-red sunset graced the sky as an equally red convertible zoomed beyond the horizon.

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Kagome stared, hypnotized.

The man named Sesshoumaru's blue-pupiled red eyes were fading into a brilliant shade of sun. Such a penetrating gaze...

"Get off of me, woman." Sesshoumaru reiterated.

Kagome was frozen. How did his eyes...?

"I will not repeat myself again."

Kagome's arms seemed to be refusing to let go.

Sesshoumaru let out a barely audible sigh and the little potato peeler found herself being plucked off. She didn't wanna!

The black suited man raised an eyebrow at the slowly shrinking-away bundle, which he was still lifting by the scruff of its neck. He was quite used to females suddenly grabbing him screeching, "Sessho-chan!" He was a heterosexual guy, but he cringed whenever females pounced on him, even though most of whom were very busty, beautiful, and rich. But there were also mixed with the ugly, fat, and disgusting, which he gagged just thinking about it, especially the old ones. They'd all try to feel him up and press their breasts into his back.

He puked mentally.

But speaking of this little pipsqueak, who was still looking him over, she seemed to be rather... plain. He dropped her unceremoniously to the ground, and without further ado, he picked up his suitcase and a black umbrella, pushed open the smoke blackened phone booth door, and walked out.

The rain miraculously ceased the moment Sesshoumaru stepped outside.

'So graceful... So elegant...' Kagome thought admiringly, still not moving from where she was rudely plopped.

But suddenly...

Kagome had thought that all of the potatoes had flown away.

But somehow, one potato had managed to find itself under the foot of one Yaseishin Sesshoumaru.

One wet, squishy, slippery, potato.

"OOF!"

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In the aftermath of the Hurricane Inuyasha...

Behind him (Inuyasha), the victims of the younger Yaseishin brother were shouting angrily after him and shaking their fists threateningly, cursing. Their cars were crushed, ripped, dented, torn, bruised, and crumbling, with amputated wheels, bumpers, side mirrors, etc. Most were on fire.

Thick, greasy smoke billowed through the air.

A siren sounded as police cars rushed to the scene. Ambulances were hurling people in and taking them to the hospital. (most of them were just in shock). Firefighters were fighting fires with large tree-trunk-like hoses and newspaper reporters were feverishly taking pictures and recording and reporting the whole thing. The people who weren't sent to the hospital were being interviewed, every scrap of information extracted and picked through with a fine-toothed comb.

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Snippets of the reporter's talk could be heard here and there.

"Any dead?"

"None, sir."

"Suprising... Now, really? Are you sure? Positive?"

(Young assisstant nods vigorously) "Yessir."

"Any injured?"

"A few, sir."

"Very interesting. I shall look into this." (Reporter strokes beard thoughtfully)

"Any in shock?"

"All of them, sir."

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A helicopter roared overhead.

Officers, firefighters, reporters and other official-looking people were communicating through two-way radios and blasting out commands through megaphones. People were running around, screaming, hollering, shouting, crying, weeping, yelling, roaring, sobbing, complaining, tirading, sighing, screeching, shrieking, groaning, moaning, ranting, bellowing, threatening, cursing, wailing, howling, bawling, yelping, whining, protesting, criticizing, fuming, grumbling, raging, seething, thundering, popping, earthquaking, exploding... (the list could go on and on...)

Screaming, chaos, and confusion plagued the battlefield.

It was almost comical.

But Inuyasha was oblivious to all this, concentrating every fiber of his very being into the thought of seeing his screaming bro.

Electric waves were crackling around his body. Fire was flaring in his eyes. A cheesy grin graced his face. He was going to see his brother, all-mighty, cool, sophisticated, unemotional brother, screaming. Caught in the act. And he, Inuyasha, will be triumphant!

(But... ...too bad... ...'cause it wasn't Sess...)


	3. Two Men with One Potato

A Piece Of Potato Passion 

By Psychocynic

...and her younger sister SexyBod

Disclaimer: Inuyasha and it's characters do not belong to me, though everything else (including Potato Palace and the original story) belongs to me.

Psychocynic: Ho. Sorry it took a bit long. SexyBod did more than usual for this chapter, so let's all applaud!

SexyBod: I am so sexy!

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Chapter Three

Two Men with One Potato

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---Flashback------>

The rain miraculously ceased the moment Sesshoumaru stepped outside.

'So graceful... So elegant...' Kagome thought admiringly, still not moving from where she was rudely plopped.

But suddenly...

Kagome had thought that all of the potatoes had flown away.

But somehow, one potato had managed to find itself under the foot of one Yaseishin Sesshoumaru.

One wet, squishy, slippery, potato.

"OOF!"

------End of Flashback--->

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Sesshoumaru fell face first into a muddy and jelly-like lake.

Not quite so graceful anymore, eh?

Grime splattered everywhere, which included a certain potato peeler's face. Said potato peeler blinked, assessed the damages before her, and came to the assumption that... it was probably... no, it WAS her fault.

Kagome got up, rushed out of the booth, and hurried toward the spread-eagled, muddy object (Sess, who's an object because he's inanimate) and guiltly looked him over. Immediately, it started to rain again.

Slowly, menacingly, Sesshoumaru raised his mud-caked, rain-splattered face to look into Kagome's. He glared at the offending object: the potato. Then he glared at the offending person: Kagome.

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Her damp uniform had "POTATO PALACE" plastered all over the front in plain sight.

Not to mention that the aforementioned potato was squashed and lying a few feet away from Sesshoumaru's foot.

Uh-oh.

Kagome quickly covered the words with her hands.

"You... woman..." Sesshoumaru shook with anger.

His fangs seemed to grow longer, sharper.

His face darkened and his fingers seemed to be unsheathing deadly claws.

His eyes were steadily turning red and blue-pupiled. So scary!

DA DA DE DUM....

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In the appointed restaurant...

"Why are they still not here?"

"Kya---! Why isn't my Sessyochan here yet?"

"Inuchan too---!"

"The Yaseishin brothers aren't the type to miss such an important meeting..."

"The elder, yes. But I doubt the younger..."

"The crazy one you mean? With a fetish for red and a freaky fashion sense? Oh, yes... He's probably late... like usual."

"I'll bet that he's tearing down the highway on his little red wagon, right now."

"Then Sesshoumaru...?"

"Knowing his luck, he's probably having a rendezvous with some hot babe."

All of the young men at the table sighed jealously.

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The lipstick-red convertible sped down the street at full speed as the driver leapt out of the car before it even stopped at the curb. The car screeched to a halt, just a hair's breadth away from the telephone booth. The driver, with a windswept white mane of hair and a tasteless red suit and a flapping red polka-dotted tie, landed lightly behind his vehicle.

'TRUIMPH IS MINE!' The driver thought smugly as he jutted out his chest and lifted his chin high into the air.

He swaggered towards the telephone booth and saw an extremely unnoticable, very plain-and-dull-looking girl who was covering her chest and looking at a strangely, much more eye-catching, shockingly familiar heap of mud at the same time.

Huh?

As he neared, he came to the astounding realization that the clump of mud at the woman's feet was actually (though disappointingly not screaming, but even better) a totally mud-covered Sess!

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Inuyasha thought he was going to pee in his pants.

He whooped.

"HAHAHAHAHA!!!! SESSHOUMARU! BOWING AT A WOMAN'S FEET! HAHAHA! COVERED IN DIRT! GROVELING! BEGGING! THIS IS FREAKING BETTER THAN I HAD EVER IMAGINED!!!!!! HAVE POTATOES BEGAN TO PEEL POTATO PEELERS??!!" Inuyasha crowed.

Inuyasha looked gleefully at the mud-crusted Sesshoumaru on the floor, in the rain. It couldn't have been better! Inuyasha was wallowing in impure bliss. He (Inuyasha) looked like he was in the middle of unmentionable (and dirty) pleasure.

"Well---! I guess it's YOU who's late this time, my beloved brother!" he drawled, doing a perfect imitation of a Texan sheriff.

Sesshoumaru wrenched his right arm out of the muck, and then his left. He tried to stand up, but the sticky quicksand-ish mud with the consistency of New Year's mochi pulled him back.

Inuyasha grinned. "Guess that since you're not going to be able to attend the meeting, I, Yaseishin Inuyasha, though a bit late, will be promoted from Co-Head-Boss to The Only Head Boss," he announced in mock politeness, with a tad of British accent.

Inuyasha pulled off one of his dainty white gloves and waved it in the air.

"Ta-ta, Sesshoumaru---!"

In slow, exaggerated moves, he moved towards the sidewalk in the direction of the fancy restaurant (it was a stuff-as-much-grub-in-your-mouth-as you-can-endure buffet).

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Fate, it seemed, had a sadistic sense of humor.

For somehow, the mighty potato that fell Sesshoumaru had managed to find itself squashed under Inuyasha's foot.

The somewhat squished, slightly muddy, slimy, slippery, infamous potato.

And down he came.

"OOF!"

Facefirst into the mud.

(SPLAT)

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Sesshoumaru snorted in grim satisfaction.

Kagome rushed towards the newly-fallen, crumpled, muddy heap (Inuyasha) and nervously looked him over.

There was a muffled sob and a cry of, "My suit---! Oh-oh-oh... My extremely clashy flashy red suit---! Waah---!"

And then...

Slowly, horrified, Inuyasha raised his mud-caked face to check his beloved outfit and then he folornly fingered his prized tie. And he had worn it for good luck today! And he usually only wore it for special occasions!

Too bad, so sad...

All of a sudden, Inuyasha snapped his head back up to look at the potato, looking mashed and stuck to the heel of his red two-inch heeled boots. Then he swivelled his gaze sharply into Kagome's. And lastly, his eyes traveled downward to her uniform, which had "POTATO PALACE" emblazoned all over the front.

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The potato peeler's face told a thousand words.

Uh-oh. Kagome quickly covered the words with her hands again.

"You... woman..." Inuyasha shook with anger.

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You know the expression, two birds with one stone?

Well... yeah.


	4. When a Man is at a Lady's House

A Piece Of Potato Passion 

By Psychocynic

...and her younger sister SexyBod

Disclaimer: Inuyasha and it's characters do not belong to me, though everything else (including Potato Palace and the original story) belongs to me.

Some stuff I haven't mentioned before: I can chew flames, but don't be overzealous. Criticize the work, and not me, please. No, I haven't been flamed, I just want to say this beforehand. And while on the subject of reviews, can someone give me a REAL review? Not just those (but somewhat appreciated) ego-boosting short compliments of "it's funny," but real critique or suggestions on how to improve my writing. That will definitely stick to me and drive me to write faster and better.

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PSYCHOCYNIC'S BORING BLABS: Read and review! Just for you guys, this chapter is much longer than the previous three. It obviously took longer, and I'm sure few of you have to deal with AP Calc A at the tender age of 15. Oh, and by the way, I'm not trying to derogatize (is that a word?) Inuyasha by writing him as a red freak. Don't get me wrong. I love red, too.

SEXYBOD'S SEXY SPEECH: I am the sexy bod working furiously hard on this story in the background!... are you even listening to my sob sentence?!... insert desperate plea...

BOTH: We are pleased to announce that another story is in the making; Summer Snack Shop. Don't worry, it won't conflict with the writing of Potato Passion! Unlike Potato Passion (primarily written by psychocynic), Snack Shop is dominated by the sexy SexyBod. Not any less better than this! Look for it soon under SexyBod's name!

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Chapter Four

When a Man is at a Lady's House

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Back at the restaurant...

"Should we go out and take a look? I mean, maybe they got caught in the rain, and uh, drowned in the mud or something."

"Nah, that's impossible."

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At Kagome's house...

Inuyasha, who was sitting on a very squishy couch and wearing red (like usual), vigorously dried his hair with a towel, moaning continously about his ruined suit and beloved convertible, while often turning to scowl at a very meek potato peeler tiddling her thumbs.

The aforementioned tasteless red suit was now tumbling in the washing machine, along with a red polka dotted tie, dainty white gloves, red and white striped toe socks, the hoop earring that didn't fly off, two inch red leather boots, pink dress shirt, hot-lips patterned boxers and a heart-embroidered handkercheif, all belonging and unbeknownest to Inuyasha. The freaky fashion man had gone into the bathroom, stripped and tossed all the clothes into the hamper, took a 5-minute shower, hopped out, dressed in the extra clothes that he always brought along in his handy dandy suitcase (which were just as bad), stalked out, and then the little potato peeler had snuck into the bathroom, gathered up the muddy clothes, and swiftly deposited them, washable or not, into the washing machine.

After the potato-slipping, mud-splattering incident, the two Yaseishin brothers were no longer fit to attend the meeting. Sesshoumaru had suggested that Inuyasha go anyways, as being mudcaked in brown would make him look more business-like than his usual garish, odds-and-evens, monochrome red anyway, but when Inuyasha had suprisingly agreed to go as long as Sesshoumaru went also, Sesshoumaru had muttered a "never mind," him being worser off as he had started with a black suit.

Not that mud would show that much on black anyway, but it sure did on the brothers' luminescent white locks.

But as luck would have it, out of nowhere, thunder had began to clash again and the ground rumbled.

The cowardly little potato peeler had twitched.

And snapped.

And had frantically and with superdemon strength, tossed the two clay-like figurines into the back seat of the raging red convertible, and learned to drive within 5 minutes.

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The crazy girl had driven crazier than his younger brother.

She'd tossed them in the back, and he'd had to face the indignity of being tangled with Inuyasha. Well, at least it was better than the indignity of being found in mud. The people from the restaurant would have come out to check, no doubt. But it wasn't much better. He wouldn't have been in such a position if the girl hadn't dropped all her potatoes in the first place.

Stupid girl.

Stupid potato.

Later he'd have to face the raging wrath of his father and the rest of the company...

Kouga would definitely take this chance to seize both his and his brother's high positions.

And wasn't that girl an employee of the company? Stupid Kouga and his stupid idea of sending the peelers out on foot.

And what of Inuyasha and his driving? He'd get into trouble one of these days. And he, being the elder brother, would have to dig Inuyasha out of the mud.

Not to mention that the stupid girl had delivered them to her house, or shrine. Saying that she was extremely terribly horribly deeply sorry the whole entire time. Saying that it was her fault and that she wanted to do something. But he knew that those were just cover-up excuses for her embarrassing phobia of thunderstorms and primordial need to find shelter to save her own selfish hide. What she did was unforgivable anyway. In addition to all the previous injuries that she'd dealt them, she'd also crashed his brother's prized red convertible into one of the more secluded areas of the shrine (a storage room), the only comfort to the car's owner being that it was miraculously undamaged. And his indomitable pride, made to wallow in the mud. He'd charge the girl for losses and damages later, at a more suitable time.

After all, he was not an act-now-think-later type of person. Everything, and it's significance, alternatives, and possible effects, etc were analyzed and made to battle across the master chessboard of his calculating mind before his thoughts became action. And that was why he was such a successful guy.

Well, if truth be told, he didn't really want to attend the meeting being as many horny and porny women had gone as well (Sesshoumaru mentally grinned at his luck), but the mud... and his father... and the company... (Sesshoumaru's grin faded into a grimace)

But back to the girl. Hn. Did she not know the complications of having two grown men at her house? He had seen, from the size of this shrine that she lived in, and the amount of stuff in it, that she was not the only one who lived here. He'd seen the family pictures on the wall. The many pairs of shoes in the hallway, all different sizes and styles.

And when her family returned...

And if his and his brother's female stalkers found out or followed here...

There was so much to think about...

Better to just leave it for later...

Sesshoumaru let the water wash over him in warm, soothing waves of glass, shattering against his skin.

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"Did Sesshoumaru drown in the shower or something?" Inuyasha was SO glad that he had gone first. He had only taken 5 minutes to wash up, but his fucking brother had taken a fucking 50. And still going...

Kagome tried not to stare at the violently red clad man who was perched on the fat, overly-stuffed sofa (and outright ignoring her) across from her.

But, how could she not stare? He was wearing some strange, out-of-date-looking red kimono. And looked good in it. But nevertheless, strange. What was his obsession with red anyway? And that kimono looked like it belonged in a museum.

Did he, perhaps, steal it?

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---Kagome Dream Sequence--->

Inuyasha, with cloth wrapped around his head and tied under his nose, snuck into a old-clothes musuem in the dead of night, not blending in with the shadows at all in his flashy red garb.

Grabbing anything red, Inuyasha dashed outside to examine his winnings: the red kimono, a red boxer lined with lips, and a red D-cup bra that belonged to a famous woman from long ago.

Only to have strange rumors circulating throughout the city the next day, such as...

"News Flash! Warlord's kimono, playboy hot lips boxers and emdroidered D-cup bra stolen from the Antique Accessories Musuem display! All of which seem to be red! Here is a depiction of the missing items!"

"Wanted: Kimono, boxers, and bra! Reward of 1000 US Dollars. Will pay in cash."

"Newspaper Article: Strange man in strange garb spotted hours after the accident, racing down the street across from the convenience store located at the corner of Potato Palace Street! May be related to theft of Musuem lingerie and old clothes!"

And then, a very disturbing image of the younger Yaseishin brother in a D-cup bra...

---End of Kagome Dream Sequence--->

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Kagome desperately tried to banish that image.

It belonged in a porn magazine, not in her brain!

She shook her head furiously and then turned to look at the subject of her twisted thoughts.

The image of a D-cup bra seemed to superimpose itself like a transparent image over Inuyasha's chest.

It looked so wrong...

She turned her head in order to focus her sight on something else, and saw the heaping pile of red clothing on the poofy white carpet. This was the amount of extra red clothes that Inuyasha had managed to stuff in a small book-sized suitcase. The rose-colored clothes seemed to remind her again of her overactive imagination.

As if noticing what Kagome was looking at, Inuyasha drawled haughtily, "There's more red clothes in the trunk."

Inuyasha was still exceptionally furious at the potato peeler. His clashy flashy red suit! And on a more serious note, the meeting! But first and most importantly, his clashy flashy red suit!

However, being the red freak that he was, he always felt obligated whenever someone shared his love for the flashy color. In fact, he tried to get people to understand his passion (which rarely succeeded), in any way, and doing anything to achieve his goal. It was like a belief (almost a religion!), and Inuyasha was preaching the gospel, the Book of Red. Therefore he kept all sorts of red stuff around. But he never really succeeded in converting anyone. Not even his brother Sesshoumaru.

"Want one?" Inuyasha halfheartedly prompted. "I'm sure I've got some red suitable for you."

The image of a flaming red D-cup bra resurfaced in her mind's eye.

'I don't wear D-cups... I don't even wear a C...' Kagome thought.

But her thoughts were interrupted as she heard the bathroom door creak open and the elder Yaseishin brother finally stepped out...

...wearing nothing more than a towel.

Kagome quickly wrenched her face a full 180 degrees. Of course, unlike his younger brother, Sesshoumaru didn't bring any extra clothes to wear.

"Hey Inuyasha, got anything extra to wear, that's NOT a shade of red?" Sesshoumaru called out in his ultra-smooth voice as he strode into the room.

"Just look in the pile," Inuyasha muttered, bouncing off the sofa and rummaging through the pile too.

Kagome could feel her face growing steadily the color of Inuyasha's suit, which was tumbling in the washer. Why couldn't the man just ASK Inuyasha to bring the clothes to the bathroom and throw them in?!

She half-heartedly wondered why she had brought them along in the first place.

Well, it HAD been her fault. The least she could have done in her selfish escape and theft of the red convertible was to bring them out of the rain along with her.

Speaking of her wrongs... why were the brothers acting as if nothing had happened?

Had they forgiven her lowly self?

(But the truth is that Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha had temporarily forgotten her.)

---------------------------------------------------

Sesshoumaru tossed articles of clothing out of the heap, still set on looking for something not red.

Kagome desperately tried not to watch. But she could still see pinpricks of movement out of the corner of her eye.

Sesshoumaru's towel slipped a fraction of an inch downward.

Kagome was slowly turning into the human tomato.

It was the kind of thing that you really didn't want to watch, but you eyes just couldn't unglue themselves from the scene.

And then, in a sudden rustling movement, Kagome could see, from the corner of her eye, something white on the ground, next to the pile of extra clothes.

'OH NO!' Kagome thought. 'The towel fell off! I'm still innocent! I'm still so innocent and young...!'

---------------------------------------------------

"Hn. It's not red," Sesshoumaru commented coolly.

"You'll be disappointed," Inuyasha said, matter-of-factly.

Kagome whirled around, curious to the bursting point.

She had to see!

She had to know!

There stood Sesshoumaru, still towel-clad (to her relief but slight disappointment), pulling up from the pile a snowy white kimono loosely patterned with red. It looked sort of like the one Inuyasha was wearing.

Did Inuyasha, perhaps, steal this one too? Kagome wasn't about to get into the juicy details.

"Well, it's mostly not red. In fact, it's the least red I've ever seen on any of your clothes," Sesshoumaru muttered.

"Yeah, whatever." Inuyasha replied gruffly, looking away. He was feeling, even if it was just a little, pleased that his brother was finally wearing some red. Ever since Inuyasha took up his red religion, Sesshoumaru had held a sort of grudge against the color. He had sort-of-planned it awhile ago, by buying the damn white thing with the minimal amount of scarlet. He never thought that it would actually succeed. (Well, people will do anything for their beliefs...)

It was a sacred scene...

Kagome felt like an intruder in her own house... (but they were ignoring her anyways...)

It was the baptizing of a new believer...

The conversion of Sesshoumaru to the Religion of Red...

(it's only Kagome's wild imaginings...)

---------------------------------------------------

Sesshoumaru went into the bathroom to change into the red and white kimono. He didn't have a choice anyway.

He closed the door, away from the prying eyes of the potato peeling tomato.

The towel slid smoothly off, and he slipped on the old fashioned, traditional kimono top, pulled on the white hakama (poofy pants), and tied it with a silk sash.

And then, he heard, from outside, the sound of a garage door opening...


	5. No Need to Believe

A Piece Of Potato Passion 

By Psychocynic

...and her younger sister SexyBod

Disclaimer: Inuyasha and it's characters do not belong to me, though everything else (including Potato Palace and the original story) belongs to me.

AN: STOP! Read ch4 again! I made several revisions to it, so if you don't re-read it, you may not understand some things in the future!

This chapter is dedicated to my hard-working mom. Happy Mother's Day!

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Chapter Five

No Need to Believe

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The sound of the creaky garage door opening resonated through the house.

"Quick-! Quick-! Into the room--!!" Kagome squeaked frantically.

The Potato Palace worker scuffled around with the speed of a certain red convertible, grabbing all evidence of the Yaseishin bros' presences and hoisting them (the extra clothes, suitcases, black umbrella, shoes, leftover mud, and Inuyasha) on her shoulders. She then charged down the hallway to the bathroom, and rammed down the bathroom door.

Sesshoumaru, who had been in the action of reaching for the door handle, got knocked out by the adrenaline-powered, demonic, monster-like strength of the potato peeler's knocking down of the door. The door had smacked him hard in the face.

Kagome had slightly hoped to catch the elder Yaseishin brother still changing, but that was not to be...

So instead, as a knocked out Sesshoumaru was falling dramatically like a sheriff in a cowboy movie who got shot in the head, the potato peeler whisked him away onto her back along with Sesshoumaru's discarded muddy black suit and shoes.

As usual when Kagome absolutely has to get something done, she can get it done. A new burst of super strength aided her in carrying them up to her room on the second floor like an experienced sumo wrestler.

--------------------------------------------------

In Kagome's room...

Once inside, Kagome slammed and barricaded the door with another one of her squishy sofas. She then dropped everything, including the Yaseishin brothers, on her poofy pink bed and sighed in relief.

"That was close..." she muttered, whipping the sweat off her brow, before realizing for the first time that the elder brother was still knocked out.

She didn't even notice it before.

Another victim of her sporadic brute strength.

Another injury to the Yasishin brothers that she'd dealt.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Inuyasha roared, interrupting Kagome's silent sob speech. Inuyasha had finally stopped ignoring what he deemed an insignificant insect. He popped off the pink bed like it electrocuted him, scooped up his red clothes, and clutched said red clothes tenderly to his chest.

"Erm..." Kagome tittered, extremely unsure of exactly what to say.

The doorbell answered for her.

--------------------------------------------------

A distant voice drifted to the ears of the couple upstairs, if you could call them that.

Okay, scratch that.

They were anything but a couple, except, maybe, the fact that Inuyasha and Kagome were together two living persons of the opposite gender.

One was glaring like a car's front headlight.

The other was twitching like a piece of cheese about to be eaten by a mouse.

A faint sound of a door scraping open and clattering footsteps echoed loudly.

There were three distinct voices mumbling from below. That of an old man, a woman, and a young boy. Kagome's family had returned from a day at a distant shrine.

Kagome snapped her head around towards the door, though in the process of so, whipped her long raven hair painfully into Inuyasha's face. The latest victim of the potato peeler sharply sucked in a breath in pain, and grabbed his face. There was a mat of straight, parallel fine lines marking his face. The girl either had amazing strength or wire-like hair. Inuyasha sighed, and flopped onto the bed like a dead fish.

He groaned. He sighed.

His beautiful flawless face... decimated.

Why was he here in the first place? He wasn't supposed to deal with strangers! Especially weird potato peeling strangers who looked like she was going to start peeling clothes instead. He'd seen the look on her face when his brother came out of the shower.

How did he get into this mess...? He and his brother were to ever so normally go to a simple business meeting! There was absolutely no harm in that! But now he was stuck in the upper rooms of an ancient shrine. Well, when he arrived here, it had seemed a good idea at the time to take a bath and clean up his dear cherry clothes. He knew his brother had thought so too. Sesshoumaru was vainer than a woman.

Now look at the situation. He and his brother didn't even know the girl's name. And she had just driven them here in HIS convertible, CRASHED it, and they had taken a SHOWER here! And she was the cause for all this!

Just shows how one-track minded the brothers were. Get rid of mud first, then wonder why they were where they were.

--------------------------------------------------

Kagome, completely oblivious of her new assault (hair whip), strained to listen to the snippets of conversation downstairs.

Very faintly, she could make out this:

"Mmm? Kagome? She's home, her shoes are here. Where is she?"

"Mama, why is there mud on the floor? Ecch... My socks got stuck!"

"Go throw them into the washing machine, then. Where is Kagome, anyway?"

"Is she working overtime again? It's nearly 8:30!" Kagome's grandfather's scratchy syllables joined the conversation.

"No, she should be home. Her shoes are right here, and so is her purse..."

There was a muffled sound of the distinctly creaky bathroom door being opened as her younger brother called out casually, "Then she probably went barefoot!"

Her younger brother Souta was going into the bathroom...

Uh-oh.

You know how sometimes, you just snap and suddenly recall something?

Something that you should have already done, but most erronously forgot, only to self-hatefully and guiltily realize that a moment too late.

It was then, that Kagome remembered that Inuyasha's red suit was still dancing in the washing machine.

-------------------------------------------------

---Kagome Dream Sequence--->

Souta flung open the washing machine lid.

Inuyasha's bizarre belongings sprayed him in the face along with a river of soapy water.

Shiny hoop earring. Soggy right red 2-inch women's boot. Wrinkled polka-dotted tie. A pink dress shirt that didn't match at all with the red suit hanging halfway out of the washer. And then...

Inuyasha's hot lips boxer floated onto Souta's head like a huge cherry blossom petal.

"Hm? What's this?"

He fingered it, only to discover incredulously...

"Hey! These aren't mine!" Souta turns around to Grandpa (who followed Souta), " Jii-chan! I didn't know you had hot-lips boxers!"

"Souta, they are NOT MINE!!!"

"And they definitely aren't mine..." Mama said as she poked her head through the doorway.

"Then..." they all said thoughtfully in unison.

"...THEY'RE KAGOME'S?!!"

---End of Kagome Dream Sequence--->

--------------------------------------------------

Kagome tried to banish the ghastly image... She didn't even want to start imagining the possibilities...

Ugh.

Kagome shook herself vigorously and paid attention to the situation at hand. It was best if they stayed away from the house.

But how?

Huh? Why was she doodling around like this?! Wasting time! Souta was opening the washer!

...or not.

"Mama, the lid is stuck! Help me!" Kagome heard the whiny voice of her brother wafting like a heavenly perfume from below.

"Oh, wait, I'm coming."

Good. Now she had to act fast.

Kagome faked a rash, hacking (and loud) cough, which bounced off the walls like an acrobatic.

"Mamaaaa... (snort) Jii-chaaaan... (hack) Soutaaaa... (moan)..."

From below, she could hear a start.

"Hmm? Why, that was Kagome's voice!"

"Neechan? You sound like you're constipating..."

"Yeaaaah... (choke) Wait, huh? HEY!!!"

"She sounds healthy enough."

"Souta!" Her mother reprimanded. "Kagome sweetie, are you alright? Did you eat yet?"

Oh. Kagome had totally forgotten about dinner. Her stomach shouted it's indignance at being ignored.

"No... (wheeze) Not yet... Can you (groan) buy meeee soooome... (cough) fried octopus balls?"

"You don't eat octopus balls when you're sick!"

"SHUT UP SOUTA! Now... (gag) Mama... please? Aaaand... some, oden? (strangled plea)"

Keeping up these fake moans was taxing... Now Kagome was really suffocating. Inuyasha was giving her an odd look. And she could hear her mother's worried voice and footsteps up the stairs.

"Nonono! Just go and get some octopus balls and oden!" Kagome yapped, sounding much less sick and much more nervous.

"Erm..." Mrs. Higurashi said very hesitantly.

"JUST GO!!!" The very force of sound blew the Higurashi family down the stairs and out of the house to go and grab octopus balls and oden.

--------------------------------------------------

Kagome blew out a breath of relief and declared somewhat proudly, "Still got that skill..." as she shoved the sofa aside and tangoed down the stairs to get some grub.

Meanwhile, her megaphone voice had affected another person...

--------------------------------------------------

Sesshoumaru drowsily cracked open his eyelids to a world of pink and purple.

"Oh shit... what happened..." Sesshoumaru groaned, shifting wearily. He was lying on something poofy.

He drunkenly used a hand to hoist himself to a sitting position.

Various thoughts floated through his foggy mind.

Rumpled red bed. (it's covered with Inuyasha's eccentric red clothes)

Sleepiness. Memory loss...

He vaguely noticed that he was wearing a white kimono... that didn't belong to him.

And it looked like it was for...

He then let that thought register itself in his mind.

Hn.

Let's see. If you're a very lusted after, slightly paranoid (who wouldn't be?), rich, young, single guy, with one-of-a-kind looks and a high position in a wealthy company, who has his own deadly female serial stalkers tracking his (and his brother's) every move, wake up on what is most likely a woman's bed, can't remember anything that happened, and wearing a white sleeping robe...

...you automatically assume the worst.

And if your brain is still too muddled with unconsciousness to handle the horror dawning slowly on you, but you still decide to turn around to confirm your hypothesis, only to see your crazy red-clad brother sighing and lying next to you on a red bed...

Sesshoumaru's exotic golden eyes widened as he shakingly raised a finger in Inuyasha's direction.

"I slept with you?!"


	6. When You Were Sleeping

A Piece Of Potato Passion 

By Psychocynic

...and her younger sister SexyBod

Disclaimer: Inuyasha and it's characters and Popeye the Sailor Man do not belong to me, though everything else (including Potato Palace and Tomato Tower and the original story) belongs to me.

AN: Sorry I haven't updated in a while! I've been banned from writing until the end of school, and sophomore Finals too. Heh, well, my grades ARE important to me... Mmm, and now that my school had ended on Thursday... and SexyBod's on Friday... Mwahaha! Friday suckers! No, just crazy me, sorry to those who have an extra day of school... So, enjoy this chapter and summer!

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Chapter Six

When You Were Sleeping

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The look on Sesshoumaru's face?

Priceless.

Sesshoumaru was such a self-controlled, sophisticated, (and somewhat scary) head boss that a picture of him now could be auctioned on the black market.

Unfortunately though, Inuyasha was in the same state.

"What the fuck are you blubbering about?" Inuyasha stuttered as he, too, jabbed his finger in the direction of his brother's equally flustered face.

Inuyasha stared at his psycho brother for a moment before registering what had been said before.

And then it hit him like a sack of potatoes.

Then he fell off the bed.

--------------------------------------------------

Kagome the rabbit was burrowing through the tangled underbrush of her refrigerator, tossing things out like one would with old socks, looking for something incredible and edible and buried within the dirt of the fat ice box.

Spinach. Naw. Kagome didn't need that. She was buffer than Popeye the Sailor Man anytime she needed it and minus the green blobs.

Onions. No way. Their peeling dry skin reminded Kagome of her own.

Carrots. Which was what she was metaphorically supposed to be looking for (as she was being likened to a rabbit). But she tossed them aside anyway.

Tomatoes. Now, if Sesshoumaru was still towel-clad then they would be her kin. But the rival to Potato Palace was the too-terrible Tomato Tower.

But she was such a loyal employee, wasn't she?

If she only knew what she had done to the Mr. Potato Heads.

--------------------------------------------------

Inuyasha was dying.

Serious. Incurable. Life-threatening.

He had contracted an STD.

A Sesshoumaru-Transmitted-Disease.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Inuyasha could not stop laughing.

The upper part of his torso was hanging halfway over the bed, and slowly inching down until his head smacked the floor and continuing till his back plopped to the pearly pink carpet, legs still perched on the edge of the bed. Laughter contracted his stomach like he was going into labor, sweaty damp hair lustily embracing his face with out-of-place forelocks, collar loosening and slipping past his shouders, nose somewhat snorting, ears red as strawberry wine, tears squeezing from his eyes, fists vigorously pounding the floor, as Inuyasha laughed.

And laughed.

And hollered, bellowed, screamed, shrieked, snorted, guffawed, whooped, snickered, gasped, shouted, cried, doubled up, hystericalled, giggled, cackled, cheered, flapped, cracked up, pounded, heaved, roared, writhed, howled, squealed, screeched, hooted, rolled, puffed, exploded. There was nothing he could possibly say.

It was embarrassing.

Nearby, the brother of the object of attention was lounging gracelessy on the bed, white silks tangled around his form. Eyes half-closed in annoyance, Sesshoumaru's face had long since faded into an expression of disgust as he watched the scene unfold, his face grim.

Was it his fault that his brain still had the status of intoxication? Shit... Seriously, the first thing after waking up... even a drunk that HAD done the dirty deed would have reacted the same. Sleeping with Inuyasha... only a woman who liked red could have even qualified for it. He couldn't believe that he had thought he'd done it. And even voiced it aloud.

A day ago he would never have imagined this happening to him.

--------------------------------------------------

After a ridiculously long period of time, Inuyasha was still indulging in inappropriate joy.

Until Sesshoumaru figured that he'd had enough and was getting up and going over to squeeeeeeze--- his brother's neck until said brother's face popped purple.

Until he shifted on the bed and hoisted himself into a semi-crouch, swaying drunkenly as the sleeves of his kimono drifted with the movement.

Until his eyes widened for another surprise as the fact registered in his brain that said sleeves were dyed red.

He was wearing red.

His eyes traveled painfully slowly over what he was wearing, scanning for any splashes of red, and twitching with a start every time he found one.

Speechless and mouthing his disbelief, he yanked desperately on the kimono collar, struggling to get out of it. He was trying to rip the cloth with one hand while stabbing a finger at Inuyasha's nose and looming ever closer, casting an ominous shadow on the obvious offender.

Just WHAT had he done in the past few hours?!?!

"What. Happened." It was more of a statement than a question. Sesshoumaru's voice had lowered to a soft, deadly whisper as his auric eyes darkened in hue and the finally stripped-but-still-intact red and white kimono top dangled threateningly from his claws. The pants were completely white, so, no need for Sesshoumaru to remove that too.

Then he bitterly balled the clothing up and flung it into an Inuyasha indignant of the insult given to his favorite color and his brother's renouncement of the Red Religion, catching the still somewhat unable to stop snorting sibling full in the face, muffling the noise.

Then Sesshoumaru pounced like a wild animal, ready to choke Inuyasha until his face ballooned blue.

--------------------------------------------------

Down below, loud and noisy muffled sounds could be heard.

Kagome extracted her head from the freezer, clutching a fat watermelon that had failed to pass her test (and made her wonder why on earth was a watermelon doing in the freezer), crooked her head to the side and wondered not-so-innocently.

And being the perverted person she was, she hurriedly scurried upstairs.

--------------------------------------------------

---Kagome Dream Sequence--->

Sesshoumaru slowly slipping off his robe, holding Inuyasha down on his back.

Inuyasha screaming in terror as the robe slithers down...

Sesshoumaru coming closer and closer...

"AHHHHHHHH-!" Inuyasha shrieks.

Kagome appears on the scene.

Kagome dives toward Sesshoumaru squealing happily.

Inuyasha escapes.

Kagome does her stuff.

---End of Kagome Dream Sequence--->

(The intensity of Kagome's perverted-ness rivals Miroku's)

--------------------------------------------------

BAM!

Kagome slammed open the bedroom door, ready to pounce on Sess.

Sadly, her dreams were shattered.

She was too late.

They were already having fun without her.

--------------------------------------------------

Sesshoumaru looked up from where he was strangling his parents' youngest offspring, clawed fist gripping Inuyasha's already bloating head, as said Inuyasha tried in vain to pry his brother's fingers off. Sesshoumaru let go, still looking in the direction of the potato peeler, as Inuyasha's plum face dropped painfully to the ground.

So that's it, Sesshoumaru mused, as his brain completely cleared and the crazy events from the past few hours replayed in his head. They were at HER house, and it had been HER who'd knocked him on the head, HER who had caused all this trouble.

Sesshoumaru slowly got off the Inuyasha he had been squashing flat to get at the neck and raised himself up into a standing position, at which the victim promptly sucked in a breath of air as his face amazingly (and comically) shrank back to it's original size and color.

Sesshoumaru stalked towards the little potato peeler standing expectantly at the doorway, ready to avenge the wrongs done to them, the Yaseishin heirs.

But any thoughts of that were quickly crushed as the potato peeler immediately began walking too, only towards him and with a glint in her eye that felt too wrong for Sesshoumaru's tastes. He gulped as the happy girl leapt madly at him, arms outstretched and a cutesy, almost innocent look on her face (the little liar).

Sesshoumaru looked down and it hit him that he had taken his shirt off and thrust it into his brother's face. He quickly thought better of it as he dived for the article of clothing and quickly jammed it on.

The predator slumped to the ground disappointedly.

It was either red or girl, and...

It was better to stay clothed around that potato peeler.


	7. Heaven's Retribution

A Piece Of Potato Passion 

By Psychocynic

...and her younger sister SexyBod

Disclaimer: Inuyasha and it's characters do not belong to me, though everything else (including Potato Palace and the original story) belongs to me.

AN: SexyBod and I wrote this with every intention of making it natural. Information were implied, subtlety incorporated, and assumption will be required. I won't state each and every thing clear and bold. Don't think that I carelessly write chapters and just post them when done. I read, re-read, and re-re-read and then hand it over to SexyBod to do the same. We discuss and go over all details, and think over what to include and what to leave the readers to figure out on their own. I'm tired of hearing the people who don't pay attention complain about not understanding it. It's not hard; if you are confused, you need to read carefully.

There were also those who thought APOPP Kagome was different and weird. I respect your opinions. However, I am SICK of the same old Kagomes that are always used and redundantly exaggerated. This is fanfiction. I wanted to give Potato Passion's Kagome a unique and special personality, and based on my own opinions, rather than use what other writers make up or think about her. I tried to portray the characters with likeable, distinguishable personalities, new and hopefully refreshing. Kagome was tried to be made real, individual and original. If you don't like the way I write, my opinions, or just me in general, I am surprised that you are still reading this. But if you don't mind, then I invite you to continue along with us.

And thanks to my friends for their wonderful support! Sorry that this AN is so long, but I felt that I had to get some things straightened out. And a late Happy Father's Day and Summer Solstice Day!

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Chapter Seven

Heaven's Retribution

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Sesshoumaru sighed.

He was tired of this all.

Tired of potatoes, tired of his brother, tired of the girl.

He didn't even want to DEAL with the girl anymore.

He snatched his little brother up by the scruff of his neck, Inuyasha, who was still in the grumps, and proceeded to march out the door.

But not before the potato peeler's face changed to a mixture of horror and disappointment and she pushed him back with such force that they blew into the bed, flipped over, and smacked into the closed glass window. But during the course of action, (as always,) something happened to divert their attention entirely. Inuyasha had unintentionally flattened the remote control in his spiral with Sesshoumaru across the room, and the small portable TV in Kagome's room turned on.

It buzzed and flickered before coming clear again, and then it began madly flipping channels, most likely due to Inuyasha's having squished ALL of the buttons on the remote. Sound lowered and rose sporadically, and the screen occasionally flashed black and white. Channels jumped from interviews with old geezers to an animal special on vampire monkeys and then to erotic women strip-dancing. Inuyasha, who had been sitting close to the TV, immediately soared backwards to the wall, with heaving breath and eyebrows twitching and eyes wide with disgust.

Kagome smiled happily, feeling that they would be distracted enough to stay, and announced that she would be in the kitchen to scrounge some food.

Sesshoumaru nodded vaguely, not really taking any of it in, as he tried to control the TV remote, wincing as loud blasts of NC-17 soap operas and porny dancing music filled the room. Inuyasha slumped down to the floor and crawled over to where his brother was, attempting vainly to get the TV to behave.

Kagome danced downstairs contentedly.

Just as she left, the TV finally settled on the evening news report, and Sesshoumaru turned his head to look over his shoulder. His suspicions were correct. Just as the door clicked closed, the TV had automatically righted itself. It was either he was experiencing an uncanny knack for coincidences today or the girl just plain attracted trouble to her as easily as he did women.

Probably the latter.

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As Kagome zoomed around the kitchen grabbing some eats, she had a wild vision...

---Kagome Dream Sequence--->

The brothers upstairs in her room are watching a strip-dancing show.

As Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru watch women strip off their clothing, they begin to follow their lead...

Kagome appears on the scene, greeted by the clothes-less bros....

---End of Kagome Dream Sequence--->

(Wishful thinking... It won't work, Kagome!)

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Sesshoumaru had wanted to up and leave already, but was furiously detained as his younger brother scrounged for food.

He actually wanted to stay in this potato-forsaken place. Couldn't he see that now was the optimal escape time?

Inuyasha had complained that they could just wait for the woman to feed them first, and then go, but Sesshoumaru knew that with her around, they could never leave. Now as he tugged at the back of the busily nosing younger Yaseishin brother's crazy red garb, the latter whined that at least he could snitch some stomach-soothers from the girl's room before they left. It wouldn't make a difference either way anyway. So he ended up dropping Inuyasha and the aforementioned red-fetished one went and bounded about the place. Sesshoumaru sighed and sat down and temporarily engaged himself in the news.

Now the thing you must know about Inuyasha is that he has never had to get his own food for himself before. People, servants, WOMEN were always stuffing it up his nose, sometimes even aquiring the help of forks and chopsticks to get it in him. At home servants served him. At resturants waiters served him. On the streets or at a beach or any other miscellaneous unmentionable places women served him. So he never had to find his own food.

So therefore Inuyasha had simply no proper idea of where to look.

"Hey Sess, got any idea where to look?"

Sesshoumaru, who was also constantly fed by others and a lethal babe-magnet, had no clue either.

But he didn't want to show it.

So he tried to maintain a careless look on his face while attempting to look extremely absorbed watching a report on a woman being chased by a grizzly bear, while spouting off offhand suggestions on where to search, hoping that he sounded experienced on the subject.

"Look under a pillow."

Inuyasha looked under a pillow, and found a quarter.

"Look in a folder."

Inuyasha looked in a folder, and found a diary.

"Look in a drawer..."

Inuyasha looked in a drawer, and found some underwear.

And that was exactly how the owner of the underwear found Inuyasha.

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The potato peeler dropped the tray she was holding, which was stacked with various potato foods, to the ground.

Inuyasha mentally slapped his forehead.

And physically slapped his forehead.

Just how long had he been staring at that lacy underwear?! Complete with embroidered roses?! And curly scallop frills?!

No, he did not stare at it at all!!!

(Then, oh how, oh how, thee sweet Inuyasha, how dost thy know those details?)

Sesshoumaru looked up.

Saw the potatoes.

And was going to yell at the potato peeler for holding out on them, for keeping potatoes to herself instead of handing them over to Potato Palace. In fact, 'yell' would be an understatement. And hadn't that potato peeler lost approximately 200 potatoes out on the street?!

But, as always, fate saved the skin of the potato peeler, which was actually quite ironic, as Kagome herself had peeled off the skins of many others.

And everything that had happened before was now about to have it's loose ends tied... and Heaven was to have it's retribution...

For just as the white-clad businessman dropped his jaw to tirade, as the red-clad businessman dropped his jaw in impending doom of a certain peeler peeling his skin for touching her underwear, as the potato peeler dropped her jaw in shock at potatoes spilling all over the floor...

"A RED! SPEEDING! CONVERTIBLE! on Highway 77 left a CATASTROPHIC! mess behind today at 6:18 P.M., sunset..." the reporter reported, yelling passionately at certain intervals, "Apparently, the car REARED up, FLEW through the air over a MILE-long line of cars at a train intersection, BOUNCING and SKIDDING on the roofs of cars and FLIPPING forward numerous times, and then SOARING over the speeding train. Suprisingly, there are ZERO dead! ONLY SEVEN injured! and ALL 357 in shock! The responsible convertible sped at about 357 miles an hour and caused a HUGE! 77 FEET LONG! flame probably due to the RED! HOT! SCREECHING! tires. Car experts are SHOCKED! that a car could POSSIBLY drive that fast!!!"

Fuzzy replays of the red vehicle flying dramatically over the train flashed on the screen at several impressive angles, blurred by the smoke.

"WHOA..." Kagome breathed in awe, who was perched on the bed with wide octopus eyes watching the incredible sight, seemed to have forgotten both the underwear and the potatoes on her carpet. She managed to lean her head on Sesshoumaru's shoulder without him noticing.

Sesshoumaru edged closer to the TV and said suspiciously, "Isn't that... Inuyasha driving the car?!?!"

"WHAT??!!" The potato peeler yelped, falling off the bed. She rolled over for a closer look.

There was an arrow pointing to a close-up shot of the exaggerated emotion-wearing face, labeled "OGRE."

Sesshoumaru's face went blank as he scooted closer, jabbing his finger at the screen with a dawning rare horror. "That TROLL is YOU?!"

"Yeaaa!!! Don't I look so cool and hot?! With the blazing sunset behind me and the wind whipping back my white locks of hair!! They really captured the real me!!" Inuyasha roared, jumping on the bed, shaking his fists and hooting enthusiastically.

Interviews with some victims were displayed on TV.

"I was in car!!!" an old geezer insisted, "I was in car! And then... and then something go 'BOOM!' on car top! I afraid heavens were's falling down!"

"I vas in de front of de line, vatching de train drive by. Den, I saw a huge vred bird fly over de train! It vas amazing!" a middle-aged man with an European accent told the reporter excitedly. "I dink it vas Superman!"

"I..." an elderly woman said faintly before fainting.

The reporter reappeared on the screen of the TV and said,"The police are examining the video clip of the car flying over the train to catch the culprit. When the criminal is caught, he or she will have to pay a $1,000,000 fine or spend 15 years in jail. But for now, all red convertible cars will be suspects and--"

As the words just barely left the mouth of the reporter, Kagome felt a warm presence by her side disappear and her head immediately plop to the ground for her pillow left her, as her window blew open and rain streamed in along with the breeze, fluttering the semi-transparent white curtains that dwelled beside it.

The two Yaseishin brothers had run outside to paint the convertible black.


	8. Dreams Not Over

A Piece Of Potato Passion 

By Psychocynic

...and her younger sister SexyBod

Disclaimer: Inuyasha and it's characters do not belong to me, though everything else (including Potato Palace and the original story) belongs to me.

AN: Sorry it's late. A certain SexyBod had not helped me for this chapter, being now that she is sooo interested in Sailor Moon again. insert glare This chapter was also quite hard being that quite a few things had to be wrapped up. This is the last chapter of Part 1, Dreams Not Over. The story is NOT ending, though. Anyways, me and SexyBod now have another project. Remember a while ago, when we mentioned Summer Snack Shop? Yeah, well, you can go look for it now under SexyBod's name this time! APOPP is in my file, so it's only fair that SSS is in SexyBod's file!!! I also have a new, more serious story, written by myself this time, Wish Anything! Go read and review it!!! And I tried answering a few reviews by email, but I'm lazy and it doesn't work out too well.

Now, on to the story!

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Chapter Eight

Dreams Not Over

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The fickle rain had stopped yet again, and would probably continue later. What was it's problem?! Though, even after the rain, the summer sky at night was still quite bright. The fat black clouds shifted an inch, and the moon and the still-refusing-to-set sun showered it's light below and illuminated a certain youth...

Inuyasha was unhappily splashing thick, sticky black paint onto the sides of his car.

He knew he had to do it.

Otherwise suffer the consequences of a speeding ticket, compensation for damages done, Father's wrath...

He did not have a million dollars to spare.

He did not have 15 years of his youth to waste.

His hot beautiful desirable gorgeous sexy stunning delightful tasty yummy red convertible seemed like a reasonable exchange.

Yes, despite how much he wanted to keep it - to drive it - to kiss it - to touch it - to love it - to run over those reporters with it.

So he had to continue standing here covering his car in tar.

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Nearby, Sesshoumaru was feverishly scraping through the contents of the storage room, the one which the potato peeler had not-so-carefully crashed into, for any color of paint other than red. He had found a bucket of black stuff earlier, which he had handed over to his brother.

Inuyasha seemed to be rather cooperative, though. Too cooperative.

Sesshoumaru turned his head a moment to wonder at how Inuyasha was taking this. For in Inuyasha's eyes, anything short of painting a red convertible black was absolutely sacreligious. A terrible taboo. How could he bear this? Sesshoumaru had almost a flash of pity. Almost.

But when he turned, he saw that Inuyasha had a hand in the can trying to DIG the sludge out. Huh?

It was either dried-out, or... it wasn't paint at all.

He watched as Inuyasha, with a mighty effort, unstuck a glob of black gum and smacked it on the unpainted side of his car.

It stuck.

Inuyasha poked it. The blob did not budge. Inuyasha got his finger stuck in it. He pulled. Said finger was covered in web-like threads. Was this stuff paint at all?!

He highly doubted it.

Sesshoumaru watched, amused, and turned to continue his search. A while later, he hit the jackpot.

A jug, with watery dark liquid in it? Sesshoumaru poured a bit of it on the ground, and it was black. Good. But it did smell weird, though... Well, you put two and two together. Thick black goo, and thin black soup. Mix it up, and ta-da!

And that is exactly what they did.

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Meanwhile, a certain potato peeler looked out the window, saw her goal, jumped out happily and ready to rejoin them and eagerly offer some help, until she looked down and realized that it was the second floor.

And it wasn't the least of her problems yet. Kagome was still wearing her Potato Palace Uniform. And it was a skirt.

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"KYAAAAAAA-!!!"

Sesshoumaru looked up in time to see a parachute that looked suspiciously like a Potato Palace uniform and a pair of panties and legs attached dropping down with speed too great for something that was supposed to slow falling things. The passenger of the said parachute bounced like a rubber ball a few times before the brown cloth mushroom settled down, revealing that it was indeed a peeler's uniform and that the dreadfully clingy potato girl was back.

Sesshoumaru cringed.

He SO wanted to spray her with pesticide.

He turned away, away from the eager peeler and focused on trying to successfully coat the car with the strange but satisfyingly dark enough substance. Nearby, Inuyasha wiped his hands on the wall of the storage room and made his way back into the house, hopping on various trashcans and rooftops in order to reach his destination. Probably gone to grab their stuff and the rest of his gaudy garb.

So the remaining Yaseishin brother sighed and continued to 'paint' as he wearily anticipated his departure from the parasitic peeler, who was excitedly hopping around him in circles and chirping her delight at having found them again, made no comment as she wondered aloud on where his brother had gone, politely and patiently said nothing as she babbled enthusiastically about the crazy news on TV, endured the annoying-ness of her asking tearfully if he and Inuyasha were going to leave soon, and then putting in that if so was the case, she hoped to see them again, and if that peeler didn't stop talking soon Sesshoumaru felt like he would explode of exasperation until...

"Nee... Why are you painting that car with bean paste and soy sauce?"

WHAAAAAAAT???!!!!!!

They had been "painting" with bean paste and soy sauce?! Okay, that would explain the strange smell and consistency... and since most bean paste isn't ink-black and slimy, he would assume that the bean paste had gone bad and come to think of it, there was an inch-thick layer of dust (which he hadn't paid much attention to, because aged paint didn't matter too much) on the jug of soy sauce, thus leading to the conclusion that it was rotten too, and the stench would probably never wash off his hands, let alone the convertible... Why did they even believe for an instant that paint could be found in this decrepit old shack and that anything could possibly go right at the living quarters of the "thing" that had landed them in this fiasco in the first place?!

Terrible though it was, it still was a VERY good thing that Inuyasha had not been there at that moment.

Sesshoumaru barely had enough time to react to this shocking proclamation as the aforementioned Inuyasha appeared in the window just then, right on cue, with all his crazy crimson clothes stuffed amazingly into that tiny book-sized suitcase of his. He then leapt down from the windowsill, again using several roofs and old boxes as an assorted stairway, hopped into the car's front seat, crammed in the key, and the engine started to roar as Inuyasha motioned with his hand for Sesshoumaru to get in too.

The potato peeler made a beeline for the convertible as well.

Uh-oh.

Seeing this, Sesshoumaru hastily signalled to Inuyasha to drive away first, and FAST.

He could easily catch up earlier, and besides, the last thing he needed was for the girl to find out where they lived.

Inuyasha gave a casual nod towards his brother, looked sadly at the blemishing black on his prized and beloved once-red car, glared at the potato peeler with obvious disgust, and barreled off through the debris of the wall previously crashed through by the aforementioned potato peeler.

The girl looked wistfully after his brother's departure, and Sesshoumaru almost felt a pang of guilt until she turned to focus her infatuation upon him instead.

Needless to say, he ran for it.

Or flew.

But few words could describe the grace in the way he sort of weightlessly took to the air as the snowy white kimono fluttered charmingly after him, as auric eyes wandered behind in a reflexive backwards glance before he leapt onto the moonlit rooftop.

Then, as if whisked away by the very wind itself, he vanished in a blur of movement, and leaving unbeknownest to him, a potato peeler that looked now a thousand times more woebegone than when Inuyasha had left.

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Meanwhile, Inuyasha slowed down the speed after driving what seemed enough distance between him and that Potato Palace worker.

Whew!

He heard a few footsteps sounding his way.

Oh no... did the potato peeler follow him? He had made sure to drive at 77 miles an hour!

He slowly swiveled his head around, cautious but sure that she couldn't POSSIBLY have done so.

After all that driving in weird twists and turns, through run-down alleyways and secret detours, slowing and speeding in various patterns, looping around several blocks and over wheelchaired old ladies, charging into various fast-food drive-thrus, and completely tearing through the local park. Surely she could not have...?

His neck turned in steady increments of 2 degrees.

He braced himself for the attack.

He sent a silent last prayer towards God above.

It turned out to be an old man out for a late jog.

Inuyasha did a comical fall, and bumped his nose on the steering wheel.

Okay, he thought, he'd been cursed enough today. A guy could not have endless bad luck for a day; it had to have ran out already!!!

Yes, Inuyasha thought with new meaning, it is over for now, nothing else could happen-

A loud crack was heard as a figure landed on the back of Inuyasha's head, and then lightly bounded into the back seat.

Inuyasha tearfully turned around to glare indignantly at the new arriver, who happened to be Sesshoumaru. His brother leaned back casually in the patent leather seats and buckled the belt. He looked up and offered a half-hearted wave, and a drawling "Yo, Yasha."

Inuyasha sniffed. It was about time anyway, considering the inhuman speed his brother possessed, but, there still was no need to land on him!

Inuyasha thumbed his nose, sighed, and gritted his teeth, suffering through Sesshoumaru's barks to hit the road already and a serious battle of control.

NOW nothing would happen to him alright! It is now-

A sunglass-sporting police officer rode up to the driver's side on a bicycle, and looked Inuyasha over.

"Hmmmm," he said matter-of-factly, stroking his chin and scanning over the convertible.

Inuyasha stared at him in horror. Oh no... he knew. The police had caught him for his freeway rampage from earlier on.

After all he'd been through already...

The potato peeler didn't get him but now a stinking police officer did...

And he'd sacrificed his darling car to a black and muddy-looking disguise...

All for nothing...

"What's with this weird stuff on your car? It smells like shit." the policeman asked good-naturedly, wrinkling his nose.

Inuyasha twitched, and Sesshoumaru, seeing that Inuyasha would be less than articulate about the sore subject of the filth on his car, took matters into his own hands.

Sesshoumaru gave his brother a persistant shove to unstick the latter's petrified position, glared contemptuously at the startled cop and left him a nasty comment about how he was probably smelling himself, and Inuyasha didn't even bother wasting a second to take the chance and whoosh away.

And they were gone with the wind...

...and left a very disgruntled looking cop in their wake, covered from head to toe in the bean paste and soy sauce which blew off from the speed of the accelerating car.

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At Potato Palace...

A certain tasteless brown-suit-clad man strolled through the hallways on a last check-up of all the low-level departments.

He sighed.

If only he'd be promoted to the position of the revered Mr. Potato Head... but noooo, the Yaseishin brothers-loved- squishing him down low...

Inuyasha, that turd... always pounding him with one of those heavy wooden mallets used for mashing potatoes, commenting all the while that he looked like a potato anyway in those raggy-looking brown clothes, knowing that he, a low-status boss, could not strike back, then yelling for a group of peelers to haul him away...

Sesshoumaru, that bastard... always tossing him out to do humiliating janitor jobs along with that disgusting booger, Jaken, and then kicking them both into the trash dumpsters as if he, Kouga, was of the same snot as the sorry little wart...

If only he'd had a chance...

(If only he knew that chance would reveal itself soon.)

And all of a sudden, a dark and eerie shadow emerged from the looming black.

Kouga looked at the shadow... and the shadow looked at him...

(-whoosh- -insert dramatic sweep of wind-)

And the said shadow sneezed and shuffled into the light, squat and extremely grubby.

It was a janitor clutching a mop.

"Oh-! Mr. Kouga-!" he sobbed.

"Hmm?" Kouga scoffed, while at the same time patting his heart in both shock and relief that it had only been the janitor, dirty old yucky Jaken.

Jaken was looking quite woe-ridden, wheezing and breathing as though he'd just contracted emphysema.

"Why haven't you locked up already and gone home?"

"I... I c-can't!!" he said, his voice sounding progressively higher with each syllable, like he'd puffed in a balloonfull of helium.

"Oh? Why not?" Kouga said, looking skeptical.

"I c-can't l-leave until ev-every-th-thing's wuh-wrapped uh-uh-up!" the be-questioned janitor hiccupped, gripping his mop still tighter.

"And...?"

"I'm missing a potato peeler, both Mr. Potato Heads, and 200 potatoes!!!" Jaken flailed the mop about, stutters gone, sounding quite hysterical now.

"200 potatoes? Oooh, that potato peeler's gonna get skinned by Sesshoumaru..." Kouga muttered to himself, forgetting the fact that he had been the very one to order the peelers out in the first place, "...and WAIT. Did you just say that the despicable Yaseishin brothers have gone MISSING?"

"Oh- yes, Mister. The business meeting should not have taken so long, so I had Mr. Miroku make a call, and it turns out that Sesshoumaru-sama and Inuyasha-sama never even turned up at the appointed restaurant."

Kouga looked like he was going to propose to the toad-like janitor, so full of a barely-contained exhilirating feeling was he.

"Thank you. You may leave now, Jaken." With those words, Kouga marched off in an erratic fashion (right arm and leg moving in unision, and vice-versa), lunatically laughing his ponytail off, leaving an astonished-looking janitor and a mop behind.

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And lastly, to finish tangling up the day resembling a hairball that has been redundantly worked up some more...

"WHAT?!!! You LEFT my CLOTHES at THAT girl's HOUSE?!!!!" Sesshoumaru exploded, temporarily disabling Inuyasha's eardrums for at least a couple of hours.

"So what?!!! It's my clashy flashy red suit that we should be worrying about!!! That idiot girl must have stolen them!" Somehow, the supposed-to-be-deaf eardrums were working quite fine (or maybe Inuyasha could lipread).

"WHO'D WANT THAT SUIT?!?!?!"

"HEY!!! It's all YOUR fault you have bad taste in females!!! She's YOUR girl, so YOU go and take care of it!!!"

Sesshoumaru snorted. "I don't even know her NAME, Inuyasha. You have amazingly poor powers of deduction. And I am never going back, EVER, hear?!?! If you want to retrieve your ugly suit, do it without my involvement."

If it was anybody else, the conversation was obviously over. However, Inuyasha was his brother and Sesshoumaru could never hope to get rid of him.

"Keh. As if you weren't planning all this mess simply to get-" Inuyasha was cut off with a murderous growl.

Inuyasha, upon hearing his moody brother loudly cracking his knuckles, hastily steered their conversation back on track, something more G-rated.

"Anyways, AT LEAST I got your suitcase too!"

"I was under the impression that you had gotten everything," Sesshoumaru snarled, his lethal fangs flashing viciously as he weighed emphasis on the last word.

"Yo there, calm down. At least we got away." To the two brothers, this fact was valued high above everything else.

"Yes... At the very least."

The brothers seemed to at last arrive at an agreement, but their yelling had alerted THE Ultimate Mr. Potato Head that his two meeting-skipping sons had come home.

Uh-Oh.

Not to mention that they now could not go back to that potato peeler's house. Her very presence had deeply traumatized the both of them, especially Sesshoumaru.

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Sometimes crazy things happen

Even when you just want to have a little fun

But if you wait a little while

You'll realize that the stuff has just begun


	9. Ignorance is Bliss

A Piece Of Potato Passion 

By Psychocynic

...and her younger sister SexyBod

Disclaimer: Inuyasha and it's characters do not belong to me, though everything else (including Potato Palace + the original story) belongs to me.

AN: I have decided that the change in the spelling of names in the middle of the story would be confusing and so I will keep the original spellings for the rest of APOPP. However, you will see the changed versions in my other story, Wish Anything. On a side note, sorry for the long delay in this update. School has been stressful and SexyBod is obsessed with Sailor Moon (by my standards, that's a little tasteless), and I spent a deal of time revamping the story. There's not that much noticeable change, but choppiness and strangeity have been removed or altered to let the fanfic flow more smoothly and interestingly. I don't know if the style of writing has changed since last time, but please bear with me. SexyBod did contribute to this chapter, but I had to drag her to the computer and yell numerous times. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

GUESS WHAT! It's the FIRST YEAR ANNIVERSARY of APPOP! So I crammed just to get this to ya guys, so the chapter ends a little weirdly...

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Chapter Nine

Ignorance is Bliss

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Kagome Higurashi enjoyed a relatively fine morning. Someone had been sent up to awaken her and escort her downstairs for a hearty meal. Nothing strange of the sort had happened at all yesterday or now, besides the fact that she seemed to have an unexplainably good dream of two gorgeous dudes and that the washing machine lid was strangely stuck and repeatedly scrubbing the same contents over and over again.

Ah... but it had been a wonderful dream... too bad she couldn't remember it.

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The Yaseishin bros were not as lucky.

They had hoped and hoped and hoped that all was but a terrible nightmare, and that once they woke up, all would be fine. Yes, tis the illusion they fell under for a short sweet while, seeming to have left the horrors of before far, far away. Woken up at the first crack of dawn, gone to admire the morning sun like never before in their lives, happy to be here to see this new day, that is, until the early news report came onto the TV screen...

"We have gone into the red convertible case a little deeper now, and searches of the scene have rendered a few new clues."

"WHAT!" Sesshoumaru, who had just been chugging down a cup of strong coffee, choked and sprayed the said coffee all over the newspaper he had been scanning idly just moments before. Nearby, Inuyasha had gripped his cup so tightly that it exploded cappucchino onto his brand-new red suit (yes, another one), and was spluttering his disbelief, face gone pale as parchment. Both were just sitting there, at the little table, bone-white and clutching their cups in shock, or in Inuyasha's case, what was left of it.

Pictures of the aforementioned items were flashed, one after another.

"These primitive objects were found trailed behind in the aftermath of the ogre, which are now identified as being a pair of expensive shades, an ugly red dinner coat, and a hoop earring. We believe that these artifacts belonged to the trollish driver of the car, which blew off in his reign of the roads. Experts have unearthed new evidence that it was the flying off of these things that blocked the view of the license plate of the car in the only rear shot of the automobile. Any captures of the front have only focused on his face, not surprising, really, as anyone videotaping the front would have been utterly distracted by that -bleep- monstrous visage, and would've surely missed the opportunity to check the license plate," the reporter rambled off enthusiastically. "When the culprit is caught, he will be sentenced to a $1,000,000 fine or 15 years in jail..."

Inuyasha twitched violently.

Sesshoumaru's face looked grim.

And all the memories of what had happened the previous day came back in full force.

Including, but not limited to...

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Flashback---

Mr. Ultimate Potato-Head, also known as the Yaseishin Pop, yelling at volume levels so dangerous to the ears that everyone in the neighborhood went temporarily deaf (except for the Yaseishin bros, who took the damage point-blank at such destructive levels that nothing happened).

On and on he raged, at some points furious and disappointed and at others heartbroken and pathetic until he became really rather redundant. The Yaseishin Pop blubbered pitifully about being betrayed by his two cute baby boys (to which the said baby boys protested violently against) and then switched to unrelenting screeches on his irresponsible and ungrateful sons, bringing shame to the company and breaking his heart, roared again and again on the oh-so-important meeting that could have helped the company one-up the terrible Tomato Tower, about how he had had such high expectations of Sesshoumaru and how Inuyasha was supposed to meet his new lovely secretary who he (The Pop) had been kind enough to assign.

Inuyasha thought that he looked like an over-emotional orangutan.

Sesshoumaru agreed.

Despite this, both bros was still scared out of their suits of their father.

Also, extremely disturbingly (at least to Inuyasha)... Pop noticed, and mentioned that he thought Inuyasha's convertible had been RED, and not black.

The brothers hastily changed the subject.

But he had been seen muttering and eyeing the convertible rather suspiciously...

Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru thought the danger passed though, and collapsed onto the couch patting their hearts in relief. That is, until a long and ominous shadow cast over them, and the temperature dropped below zero. Mr. Yaseishin's face was still as stone, and held a grave and serious light.

"The meeting," he whispered, barely audible.

"Huh?" the brothers had been (conveniently) temporarily deaf.

"THE MEETING! THE IMPORTANT BUSINESS MEETING! HOW COULD YOU HAVE MISSED IT?" Pop shouted, bellowing like a wounded hippo and blowing the brothers' hair everywhere.

Mr. Yaseishin cornered his two male offspring and said, suddenly deathly quiet, "Your punishment..."

Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru each sucked in a lung-full of breath and waited for the death sentence to fall.

Pop stood there, breathing heavily as if he'd just ran to Mt. Fuji and back, mean beady eyes narrowed to slits and giving them the evil eye. Inuyasha, who was usually casual and cool, had cowered there, shivering madly like a bald chicken in Antarctica and profusely sweating buckets of H2O. Sesshoumaru's usual indomitable iciness had been overpowered by that of the Pop! His golden eyes went round and wide and Sesshoumaru was reduced to looking fearful and very young.

SILENCE

Pop leaned toward them and you could've seen the veins popping. He looked his at eldest son in the eye and cleared his throat, saying.

"...I don't really know yet, but I'll think about it over-night and talk about it with your mother."

Inyasya and Sesshoumaru fell, comically and identically, to the floor.

Pop suddenly turned businesslike and he straightened up, informing them that even though he didn't have a punishment right-that-very-second, they shan't think that they were off the hook.

---End of flashback

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Inuyasha looked ready to barf, and hurried over to the sink in case he did. Sesshoumaru was gazing out the window dully, at the sunrise that had looked so beautiful just a few minutes before.

Suddenly, it struck Inuyasha that their Pop might have their punishments by now and he voiced his thoughts to his sibling. They both swiveled around at the spot, looking frantically for a piece of Pop lurking nearby. Then, realization that their Pop had already gone off to work hit them, and they sighed in relief, glad for their temporary safety.

Thinking that they were spared for the time being, Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru decided to go out for a bit and strolled over to their garage, thinking about the safe refuge of cruising around the neighborhood and feeling the wind in their hair and sun on their backs. Not to mention that they needed to go to work today anyway... and hopefully if they did a better job at being Mr. Potato Head Bosses, THE Mr. Ultimate Potato Head might forgive them? Hopefully?

(If only they knew their fate...)

Inuyasha reached the garage first and flicked on the light, ready to drive his Beautiful-Black-Babe (his convertible). He scanned the spacious lot lined with rows and rows of expensive cars, hoping to spot his one true love.

But... it wasn't there.

Sesshoumaru's jaw dropped in shock.

Inuyasha's eyes went white, and he opened and closed his mouth in horror, blue lines gracing his face, and looking as if he had regurgitated owl droppings.

Sess, being that the loss wasn't really his, remained intact and strolled over to the center of the (very huge) garage. He looked around, and sure enough, he saw that Pop had left a note on the floor.

"Oi, Inuyasha, quit looking like you ate owl droppings and come over here! Pop left a note for us," Sesshoumaru called out to his brother. Said Inuyasha trudged balefully towards him, now looking quite like a kicked puppy.

"Well, read it!" Inuyasha said impatiently.

Sesshoumaru unfolded it gingerly and read through it quickly. He groaned.

"Fuck..." he muttered as he resignedly brushed back his tousled bangs.

"What?" asked Inuyasha. Sesshoumaru handed him the note, which read:

Dear Sons,  
I am deeply disappointed in you. I had such high expectations of you! But you NOT ONLY missed the important business meeting that could've helped us one-up the terrible Tomato Tower, I have also discovered another sin that you two have commited. Yes, yes... I know about... THAT. Heh heh...surprised? You should be. Don't ask me how I found out. I am your Pop. I have my ways to know what you have been up to, sons. Do not doubt your Pop. Thus, I have confiscated your convertible. I can see right through it. By the way, I am still working on those punishments, so do not think that I have forgotten! ---POP

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(This is what really happened---)

Early in the morning (when the sky is gray and his sons are snoring), Mr. Yaseishin strolls into the garage, ready to look cool and go to work.

His eyes scanned the many luxury cars available at his service, finally falling upon a particular strangely glossy beautiful black convertible that he didn't seem to recall ever owning. He dismissed the fact that the car looked unfamiliar to him; after all, he had so many cars that this beauty could've just been a forgotten babe!

He grinned. He could imagine it now--him, in this gorgeous black convertible, looking young and hot, picking up chicks left and right.

Lost in his fantasies, Pop didn't notice when his feet took him to the imaginary spotlight under which the sexy car was parked, as if magnetically summoned there. Absentmindedly, he leaned casually against the side of the front door, stroking his chin as he indulged in his censored thought bubbles.

That was when he realized he'd gotten his best suit ruined with what appeared to be tar.

Horrified, Pop hastily, or well, tried to unstick himself.

Suddenly he caught a whiff of the ungodly stench... and he bent down over a particularily large spotch on his suit and sniffed. The result was disastrous and he nearly passed out. Gasping, and half-ready to puke, he clung to the side of the front door and studied the car's surface, and what appeared to be black paint.

Hmmmm... a shadowy suspicion made itself known to him, teasing and taunting his pride. After but a moment's hesitation, he gathered his wits and brandished a pudgy sausagelike finger to wipe the skin of the convertible in one smooth motion.

His eyes popped furiously.

The car's slick black coating came off on his finger as he realized said convertible was supposed to be red.

A disguise, he thought as his mind clicked. Inuyasha's convertible.

The automatic gate of the luxurious garage chose that coincidental moment to slide open, allowing the bright morning shine to pour in and reveal the vast, impeccably trimmed front lawn and marble driveway.

Something small and white and rolled bounced into the driveway and made it's presence known.

It just so happened that the something small and white and rolled oh-so-conveniently decided to roll a little closer, and some unnamed force summoned Pop to edge closer, bend down, crick his neck in the process of doing so, and pick up the little wrapped object.

It was the daily newspaper.

Pop disposed of the wrapper in a very un-business-like manner, unrolled the seemingly thicker-than-usual bundle, glanced at the front cover, and his eyes popped wider.

It must've been fate.

For blazed all across the front page (and the entire rest of the newspaper too) was a troll in a convertible, sporting various poses.

His troll SON Inuyasha in the aforementioned red convertible. (Trust me, parents DO recognize these things...)

Therefore, Pop knew.

(---End of Moment of Truth)

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Well, as it so happened, there was now no means of transportation for the brothers to get to work. Of course, they could always just take the day off... but they cowered at the thought of becoming in deeper shit with their already pissed off Pop.

The extent of Pop's not-so-subtle punishment were becoming painfully slowly known as life went on.

Like, the keys to all those expensive cars had been lifted off their usual hooks on the wall of the garage and stowed away in some remote spot.

All those lovelies, sitting temptingly in the garage (and looking lovely), key-less and thus undrivable.

The convertible, which Inuyasha had his keys to, was confiscated.

Either make the (very very short) trip on foot and very undignifiedly...

"Or we could ride one of those sports bikes!" Inuyasha suggested lamely, pointing to the row of polished frames lined up beside the key-hooks.

Bikes... that seemed to have a profoundly positive effect on Sesshoumaru.

True, all the keys were gone, but...

"But what!" Inuyasha cut in annoyedly. Obviously Sesshoumaru had been thinking aloud.

But of course, Inuyasha wasn't the only one who had a car, or, automated mode of transportation, to be more exact.

"Ah! Brilliant!" Inuyasha declared as enlightenment came to him.

And of course, Sesshoumaru also had his own keys to his car, or, should it be more correct to say, bike?

His... oh-so-sexy, sleek, black, MOTOR bike?

Inuyasha whooped.

--------------------------------------------------

Unfortunately however, both bros had to squish unpleasantly onto Sess's motocycle to go to work.

The streamlined vehicle, custom built and bought for speed (and sexiness), designed to be light, compact, and as efficient as it's rider, simply wasn't meant for two grown men to squeeze on. And given the rep of Sesshoumaru to drive just as fast or faster than his brother... Well... let's just say he had no right to complain about Inuyasha's red convertible rages.

Well either way, they had to get to work, no? Else Pops would probably have been even madder...

So the brothers then found themselves in the unenviable predicament of riding on the bike (and practically each other) way too close for comfort, already surpassing dangerously red-zone on invading each other's breathing space and much to the bros' disgust, failing miserably at their attempts to not touch each other.

Did I say miserably?

Because I meant rain-in-your-socks-1-from-that-A-grade-that-banana-from-your-lunch-has-turned-all-black-and-you're-damn-hungry-painfully-miserable.

Or much much worse.

Which translates to Inuyasha literally seamlessly attached to Sesshoumaru as he had to desperately cling on to his aforementioned brother's waist while they zoomed through the streets, else (considering the ungodly speed at which they were traveling) he fall off and be flattened by the already accumulating army of woohoo-ing mad fan girls after them in an unmistakable street chase, hanging out of limos, flagging taxis, stuffed in vans, riding bikes, or keeping up at a phenonemonal pace on foot.

It was also an undeniable truth that they just looked silly.

Passersby not of the mad fan girl category stopped and stared, ogling the two hot men on a motorbike feeling each other up with a sort of morbid must-see curiosity, clogging up the lanes worse than rubbernecks.

Like usual when Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru went public, they magnetically attracted behind them a wave of wildness roughly equivalent to a rather populated parade that massed the streets for miles.

Not only that, the police had been called, no doubt by one of the millions of business people being held up by the hordes of humans. A fleet of honking, wailing, screeching be-sirened police cars descended upon the scene, closely pursued by an even larger army of hit squads, national guardsmen, ambulances, fire trucks, and helicopters.

Although startled drivers ahead hurriedly swerved off the road to avoid the pair of motorcycle men hurtling towards them at breakneck speed, giving said men a clear way when they flashed by, (only for the aforementioned drivers to regret it and frantically rush back after them to join the chase,) strangely enough, no one swerved by for the emergency vehicles that later followed.

However, the police were already experiencing difficulties of their own.

For all the policewomen, punching the air and punctuating the cacophony of colliding sound with one united battle cry, ran off the join the mobs.

But also like usual, the attention was wasted, because the bros were oblivious.

After all, ignorance is bliss, no?

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Happy one-year anniversary!

Please come back soon, and review!

Love ya all!


	10. What You Gonna Do?

A Piece Of Potato Passion 

By Psychocynic

...and her younger sister SexyBod

Disclaimer: Inuyasha and it's characters do not belong to me, nor does Mr. Potato Head, though everything else (including Potato Palace and Tomato Tower and the original story) belongs to me.

AN: Heya! I had hoped to update far sooner than this, but finally it is here! CHAPTER 10 APOPP! More has been added to the end of Ch. 9, so please read that first before reading Ch.10! SexyBod did most of this chapter, as she neglected APOPP for the most of the last two, but that doesn't mean I didn't contribute! Enjoy summer vacation!

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Chapter Ten

What You Gonna Do?

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Kagome sighed dejectedly. It was going to be another long, lonely, and dreadfully boring day of work at Potato Palace; peeling potatoes.

Some way to spend her well-deserved summer vacation.

Kagome dropped another newly-skinned potato unceremoniously into the bowl. Her thoughts began to stray back to the details of last night's dream. The memory of the dream seemed to be slipping out of her mind as quickly as money slipping out a of a bad gambler's hands.

Wait...

Kagome racked her brains.

Yes, yes. She could remember slightly now.

There were two handsome men.They appeared to be brothers-they had the same pure white hair, the same elegant shape of the face, the same exotic hued eyes...

Kagome thought hard.

An image of the older of the two surfaced in her mind's eye. He appeared to be in...a telephone booth, yes, that was it. In a telephone booth talking to a person on the other line. Yelling, more like it. And he was livid.

Why was he so angry? His eyes seemed almost red with rage...and hey--weren't those FANGS she saw in his mouth...?

And she was sure she'd seen the other brother in a tasteless red suit and red polka-dotted tie and a single gold hoop earring...

Kagome mulled the pieces of information over in her head. Were dreams supposed to be that vivid?

She paused, ignoring the limp potato in her clutches.

But...

...Ahhh...

Kagome sighed a breath of utmost bliss and contentment. The dream had been so magnificent! She was sorry that she couldn't recall more of it. Maybe she would write it all down in her diary if she remembered it.

'If only...'Kagome thought to herself wistfully as she unconsciously squeezed the poor abused potato senseless. 'If only it had been real...'

Immediately, a devilish smirk appeared on her face. Those two sexy dudes--they could have **been all hers**! Oh, the possibilities! Then again, there were always her nosy friends who could never mind their own business, who would corner and torture her about two-timing two hot dudes when she could be sharing the hot guys with them. She snorted derisively. They wish.

She began to hum to herself as she resumed the task of methodically shaving the lifeless potato.

If only she knew.

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Meanwhile...

Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru sped down Potato Palace Street, with Inuyasha grabbing onto Sesshoumaru for dear life, zooming as fast as humanly possible in order to put as much distance as personally comfortable between them and the fanatic fans chasing wildly after them.

"WE'RE ALMOST THERE!" Inuyasha bellowed into Sesshoumaru's ear, though his voice was somewhat muffled as his brother's thick white hair billowed wildy into said Inuyasha's face. They were driving so fast that the wind was howling riotously in their ears and they could barely hear anything save for the crowd distantly roaring and screaming behind them.

Up ahead, they spotted the entrance gate for Potato Palace workers slowly closing to any more incoming employees.

Uh oh.

They were almost late! Pop would NOT be pleased by this if he got wind of it that the two Potato-Heads were tardy to work--which would just add to their growing list of sins in Pop's eyes.

Worse yet, if they didn't make it into the parking lot before the gates closed, they would have no escape from the hysterical mob of people closely pursuing them. Many were already punching the air in triumph, believing themselves to have finally cornered the hot bros.

Sesshoumaru gritted his teeth, his eyes narrowing to slits.

They were still a good 200 yards away from the closing gates. He slammed his foot on the accelerator, determinedly urging the speedy motorcycle to attain the ungodly speed he so desperately needed if they were to stay alive. They had to make it!

ZOOM!

The motorcycle carrying the two frantic men sped through the gates, a hair's breadth from crashing into it instead, which was what the crowd ended up doing. And it was not a moment too soon, for the Yaseishins were finally safely sealed inside the confines of Potato Palace.

"Whew!" Inuyasha said, taking off his helmet and shaking out his long silvery locks out behind him after Sesshoumaru had parked the bike. "Perfect timing, Sess!" he grinned weakly.

Sesshoumaru silently agreed. He looked over towards the extremely tall and now-firmly-shut-and-locked gates and saw a enormous group of hopeful people still clustered there, chanting and chorusing for the brothers to come back to them.

Ugh...it was always like this. However, usually it wasn't this bad, considering they drove various cars to work on many different routes to avoid the unwanted attention (they also could have servants escort them in a limo, but y'all know how much the bros love to drive themselves). But since today they were running late and in a hurry to get to work on time, they chose the shortest--and most populated--route to Potato Palace.

Not to mention the fact that since they were on a motorcycle, it was much easier to spot, recognize, and chase the Yaseishin siblings.

The fact that they wore helmets didn't change a thing. The wildy flapping white manes of hair were obvious flags to their existence and location.

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Inuyasha swaggered importantly towards their shared office, with Sesshoumaru strolling imperiously beside him.

Everyone in the hallways scurried aside to let them pass, some bowing humbly to them, some kissing the ground they walked on, and yet others kowtowing to them profusely, their heads bobbing up and down repeatedly in the process.

They were very used to this, and simply ignored the groveling workers. They were the highest-ranking employees in the company--The Potato Head Bosses. The only person superior to them in this entire company was their Pop, The Ultimate Potato Head Boss. Thus, they were given the utmost respect and admiration by all of their inferiors.

Inuyasha wrenched open their office door, Sesshoumaru closely behind him, only to be kicked out rudely by a brown booted foot.

Inuyasha crashed into Sesshoumaru, and the force of the impact sent them tumbling out of the doorway like woebegone puppies.

Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru hastily disentangled themselves from each other.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Inuyasha roared in shocked outrage. Sesshoumaru wore an expression of similar astonished fury.

Who would DARE do this to them? They might as well start digging their own graves right now!

An insane wolfish laughing was heard from within the office, the sound unpleasant in the brothers' ears. Against the doorway leaned a tastelessly brown-clad man, none other than...

"KOUGA!" Inuyasha spat, his voice dripping with deep loathing, "What's this supposed to mean, eh!"

"Heh heh heh!" Kouga chortled gleefully, "Is that the tone of voice you use with the POTATO-HEAD BOSS?"

"WHAT!" Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru looked flabbergasted.

"Well..." Kouga said dreamily, stroking his chin as he recounted what had happened that morning before the despicable Yaseishin brothers had arrived late...

---Flashback------>

Kouga was patrolling the potato pounders' working area, making sure that all the workers in his departments were right on task. As he strolled through the aisles with workers pounding potatoes energetically on either side of him, he began to ponder over what Jaken the Janitor had told him last night.

Kouga chuckled to himself.

If the Yaseishin brothers had truly gone missing, then this was his golden opportunity to steal their positions in the company before (or if) they returned. And he would prove himself worthier of the job than those two to the Ultimate Potato Head, so that even if they did come crawling back, he could secure the position for himself and himself only, and serve only the adored Potato Pop, and never again to his ridiculous sons.

On the other hand, if the brothers had simply skipped the business meeting, then they would definitely be in deep shit. It was a well-known fact to the entire company that last night's business meeting, which had been prepared and planned and agonized over for months and months beforehand, had been crucial for them against their worst rival company: Tomato Tower.

Now that the representatives (Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru) had missed one of the most important business meetings for the company, the future for Potato Palace was looking bleak.

Kouga grinned widely. The Ultimate Potato Head would most definitely not tolerate THAT now, would he?

'So now's my chance to-'

His thoughts were interrupted as someone jabbed him roughly on the back.

Kouga made a double-take and quickly whirled around, glaring at whoever had dared to interrupt his daydreams.

It was Jaken and his mop.

"What do you want?" Kouga sniffed, annoyed.

"Mr. Kouga-!" the short janitor said, unneccessarily loudly, supporting himself on the mop taller than him like a staff, "Yaseishin-sama would like to see you in his office!"

"Eh?" Kouga mused, thinking that just maybe his daydreams had become a reality, "And what does he want with me?"

"I don't know!" Jaken squawked, waving his mop in a frenzy, "But he says it's very important!"

"Important, huh?" Kouga grinned, flashing deadly fangs in the process of doing so, rubbed his hands together expectantly with a hungry glint in his ice blue eyes, and sprinted off to the direction of the most superior person in Potato Palace.

-A short while later-

A sharp knock rang upon the door of Mr. Yaseishin's office. Said man who had been previously pacing the room impatiently jumped comically at the sudden noise and hastily called out, "Enter!"

Kouga stepped into the elaborately furnished office and bowed to the Ultimate Potato Head deeply, hoping to impress, and knocked his head on the floor for added effect. He looked up and said politely, "You asked for me?"

"Yes, Kouga. I have something very important to inform you," Mr. Yaseishin began.

Kouga felt his heart leap. Possibly...?

"You have always been such a hardworking employee. You supervised all the low-level departments and did an excellent job managing so many workers all by yourself. You are the ideal worker.You also have great leadership skills. I can see the makings of a true boss in you."

Kouga felt rather flattered by all this, and wondered where this could be leading to.

"On the other hand, my two sons have committed crimes too heavy to simply overlook. They..they..." Mr Yaseishin broke off with a sob.

Kouga had absolutely no idea of what to do!

He'd never had to deal with a crying adult man all by himself, ever! Should he offer his hanky, and pat the Potato Pop on his back?

Kouga was in the process of extracting a scraggly brown and furry and extremely grubby hanky (he often sobbed into it himself when being trashed around by those unforgivable Yaseishin bros) when suddenly, he heard the unmistakable sound of a vein popping. He looked at Mr. Yaseishin, startled, and saw that the Ultimate Potato Head Boss was uncharacteristically (at least in Kouga's opinion) sporting huge, angry, white-knuckled fists and his entire body was trembling with undescribable rage.

"THOSE UNGRATEFUL SONS!" The Pop of said sons tiraded, "THEY HAVE DISAPPOINTED ME AND BROKEN MY HEART! BRINGING SHAME TO THE ENTIRE COMPANY, NOT TO MENTION MY FAMILY AS WELL! AND DON'T FORGET HOW THEY MISSED THE OH-SO-IMPORTANT BUSINESS MEETING THAT COULD'VE HELPED US ONE-UP THE TERRIBLE TOMATO TOWER! I HAD SUCH HIGH EXPECTATIONS OF THAT SESSHOUMARU! AND INUYASHA WAS SUPPOSED TO MEET HIS LOVELY NEW SECRETARY WHOM I HAD BEEN KIND ENOUGH TO ASSIGN! HOW COULD THEY! HOW COULD THEY HAVE DONE THIS TO ME!"

Kouga was nearly lifted off of his feet and out of the office door at the huge and extreme force of Mr. Yaseishin's hollerings, his black ponytail and brown suit flying and flapping everywhere.

Even he could tell that this speech had been made several dozen times.

------End of Flashback---> 


End file.
